Knowing your inner-victim, to discover the hero you already are


Meet your inner-victim.

The inner-victim represents our stories of helplessness and powerlessness – the stories that keep us stuck in a situation, the stories of fear and the stories of blame. Look closely at your own life and you find the image of your inner-victim in your experiences where you have felt powerless or helpless or have found yourself complaining. Let’s look at some examples of how a inner-victim sounds like:

  • “I was born into a poor family and never had access to the resources that kids’s of rich parents had. How can I ever be as successful as them! (self-pity)”
  • “I had a traumatic childhood. I have no other choice but to carry this pain and hurt throughout my life.”
  • “This world is not a friendly place for a woman. (I am a victim of my gender. My life would have been nicer and easier if I was a man)”
  • “It’s too late for me to follow my dreams.” (Victim of age)
  • “I wish I was taller, slimmer,… I wish my nose was not this big.” (Victim of the body you are born in)
  • Stories of being a victim of your illness.
  • Stories of being a victim of some kind of lack – money, love, resources, opportunities, etc.
  • Stories of being a victim of your perceived weaknesses – not intelligent enough, not creative enough, not courageous enough, etc.
  • Stories of being a victim of the behavior of your family members, friends or colleagues– victim of somebody’s rude behavior, lack of kindness, lack of appreciation, etc.

Just like each one of us has an inner-child, each one of us has an inner-victim too. In my coaching practice – self-coaching as well as coaching my clients – I have found myself working with the inner-victim again and again. And this is what I realised – that the only path to our true personal power is through knowing the inner-victim closely. We need to become aware of our victim stories and our motivation for continuing to believe in these stories. Then and only then can we truly transform our victim archetype and become the powerful co-creators that we already are. When we truly examine this pattern in the light of the truth that each one of us is already a powerful-co-creator, we realize that we can’t be a victim unless we create powerlessness within us by believing in it. Which means all our victim stories are just an illusion. And yet, that’s exactly what we have been doing, subconsciously choosing to believe in the illusion of victimhood – illusions of lack, powerlessness, fear, limitation, rejection and not being good enough. Thinking that our lives would change only if circumstances or people changed. Only if people became more loving and kind. Only if somehow we could change the way we looked. Only if we have had a better childhood. …..

Wake up!

Question your illusions – your dis-empowering beliefs. Acknowledge the anger, the blame, the resentment you have been holding towards people and situations, as a result of believing yourself to be a victim. Forgive them. Forgive god. Forgive yourself. Thank them. Thank the experience. Open your eyes to inherent beauty and perfection in yourself, others and life. Do what you can do to move towards more empowerment. There is ALWAYS something that you CAN do.

Today, vow to transform your inner-victim. Vow to be a hero that you are. Trust me, being a hero – creating and living your best life – is much more joy and fun!


  • Tulika Dayal
    Posted at 00:20h, 07 July Reply

    Wow! This is so enlightening… I forget I am a hero very often until somebody reminds me. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful blog.

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