What has being present to do with self love?
In today’s world we have completely lost touch with the art of being completely present. We are physically at one place and time whereas mentally we are in some different place and time. Or even worse we are nowhere, which is we are engaged in some activity or the other that serves to numb us. Activities like – eating mindlessly, over-watching TV, over-sleeping, mindless shopping, surfing Internet for hours to kill time; because if we don’t, who knows we would be consumed by some depressing boredom. We are scared of boredom. Only that, what looks like boredom on the outside is actually our subconscious attempt to numb some kind of deep uncomfortable feeling. Can you now see what’s happening here and what opportunity lies beneath all this? You are right, here you have an opportunity to dig even deeper and see what’s causing this discomfort. Might be your soul is asking you to allow yourself some time to play or to get creative. Might be there is some misalignment with your true desires, in some area of your life and your soul is asking you to see how you can close the gap. Might be there is some painful story you are believing in that you need to look into in order to tell yourself a new joyous story. Here, you have an opportunity to listen to your inner guidance that if acted on can fill you with a little more joy, peace and fulfilment.
You can get your hands on this gold only if you first become fully present. Becoming fully present means consciously pausing and asking yourself every now and then – “How am I feeling now? Am I fully present in here and now? What am I doing now? Why am I doing what I am doing? ” If you answer to the last question is any version of – because I am getting bored or because there is nothing else to do – then it is definitely a red flag. What if you choose to stop doing that activity during that time and choose instead to just do nothing for some time. See what happens. Become fully present and mindful of how you are feeling. Don’t run away if the real discomfort starts showing up. Tune into it and soon the real reason behind all this will show up. This is what being fully present does it un-numbs you. Once you are in touch with your true feelings just let your feelings take its full course. Allow it to naturally arise and fall. Ask yourself what is making you feel this way? Let the answer naturally come to you. Once you know what it was that you were trying to numb and you also feel calmer and more grounded; you can now plan your actions based on the guidance you just received. Congratulations, you now have some real clue about moving towards more joy! Isn’t it amazing! Awareness is such a gift!
So, what has being present to do with self-love? Being present and feeling your true feelings is like saying to yourself that there is no need to fear. That you are not powerless. Being present is being there for yourself. It is reminding yourself that you need to feel in order to heal.